How to react to a difference in opinion

Trolling, argument, disagreements...all to common with music, eh? I'm sure we've all had that lengthy argument with someone who won't back down from their opinion, or perhaps you felt very strongly about something and refused to give in?

These differences in opinion can lead to interesting debate, but they can also lead to hurt feelings; some people feel very passionately about the music they love, so insulting their music is like insulting them. I've had outbursts that have stopped people from talking to me for a while, I've also had some really good discussions with people where we've identified that we disagree and both for very good reasons.

So is there a way to control or avoid the arguments and keep it all to intellectual discussion?

I love musical debate and discussion, but I'm always wary when I begin it because its all to easy for it to turn into a flame war. In fact, I avoid forums altogether these days, as discussions are literally impossible - its only flamewars these days on forums. Even popular blog comment threads can turn into flamewars; I enjoyed reading a lot of Gizmodo, but still got into arguments with commenters. I won't say that I was in the right or they were in the wrong, the main point is that an argument happened which was pretty pointless.

But I do enjoy a good debate. I have a couple of friends who I sometimes have long chats with on Facebook chat or MSN, and sometimes a chat becomes a discussion which becomes a debate. But no hissy fits are thrown, no rage is incited, opinions are thrown back and forth but we recognise why both parties feel differently. These I do enjoy.

Then there's this 'trolling' thing. I'll admit, I do it sometimes. Sometimes I'm just bored...but I'll make it very obvious that I'm trolling for shits and giggles and most people will see it and know what I'm up to and not bite. Which is fine, it usually gets a giggle or two.

Sometimes people do bite though, and I'm torn between being a dick to somebody and having a bit of a laugh at someone elses expense.

Here's the question though: Is it my fault for starting the 'troll' just for a laugh (despite being obvious about it), or is it their fault for not taking it in their stride, realizing I was having a laugh and taking it personally?

My point is, you can never tell how its going to go. The main thing to remember is that at the end of the day, everyone's opinion is going to be different and you should never let someone else's opinion affect your own.

I mean, so what if you've just read a 7 page anti-your-favourite-band forum thread? All those people hate your favourite band, yes. They claim they're just imitating a bunch of other bands and so on, but you like them right?

Keep loving music ;)

Vinnie